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Understanding, not reacting

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Being told I had Aspergers at the age of 17 turned my world upside down, everything suddenly made sense: My complete lack of judgement of others, my obsession with trying to understand why people do what they do and everyone (aside from my family and people who have known me since I was a child) getting angry at me because I do not "react" (their word, not mine) when they talk about their issues (Or open up, as they call it) When I ask them how they would like me to react it just makes them even more angry and some think I am mocking them for having gone through traumatic experiences. How do non-aspies react? Is the only way for me to not getting yelled at faking a reaction or do I have to avoid traumatized people alltogether?

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